Aretha Franklin, the celebrated civil rights activist and music legend, left an indelible mark on the world with her powerful voice and iconic anthem “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” the song that became a source of strength for women of every color internationally. In her own words, “It was… a women’s anthem, a battle cry, a mantra. Everyone wants respect. Everyone needs respect. From the young to the very old and in the middle; male, female. We all want respect, and we all want to be appreciated.”1As we honor her legacy, we delve into the concept of respect and how it played a pivotal role in her life. In this article, we will explore the principle of respect defined as showing unconditional value for oneself and others, and we will discuss five real-life ways to build self-respect using this definition.
Self-Respect is the foundation of Empowerment
Aretha Franklin’s legacy is not only defined by her extraordinary talent but also by her embodiment of respect. By understanding and embracing the principle of Respect, showing unconditional value for ourselves and others, we can cultivate self-respect and empower those around us. Let us honor the Queen of Soul by living with respect, celebrating our uniqueness, and building a world where everyone is appreciated and valued. ROCK thru life with respect.
A deeper understanding of Respect
Respect, as a concept, is one that I used to toss around with a superficial understanding. Like so many things in my life before I uncovered the four ROCK thru principles I didn’t know and live with intentional Respect. The unfortunate truth is that I had lived for over 40 years in such a fog of unconsciousness that I did not truly know myself. Being an expert at putting on the façade of who I thought I needed to be to fit into this world, I actually started believing it myself, confusing who I was with who I thought I need to be. This left me in a constant state of internal turmoil. I began to release my soul that was kinked up like a thin gold necklace with a thousand knots; unsnarling real from fake, ego from authenticity, passion from desire.
Self-Respect starts by knowing yourself
To know myself I asked the following question incessantly to better understand what was driving my behavior. “Is this action or thought coming from who I truly am or who I think I need to be?” These needs may include a need to be liked, to influence, to achieve, to quiet a fear. This question emerges from the psychology theory of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs; all human action is driven by the compulsion to get physical, emotional and psychological needs met. This quirky short animation explains Maslow’s theory.
To my surprise, once I knew myself, the next two aspects of self-acceptance and self-love were so much easier to believe and embrace. Even when I looked back at the not-so-proud decisions of my life, the reflection leaned more towards compassion than shame for poor choices. When I had enough courage to seek answers, Connection with myself and taking Ownership (The “C” and “O” in the ROCK acronym) over what motivated my thoughts and behaviors, the root of the answer was always the same: I’m an imperfect being trying to make the best decisions I can amongst the pain and fear within me and the world.
Being honest with myself about the underlying needs that drive my thoughts and behaviors, is what wiped the film from the mirror of life to reflect my true self. Now, when I feel pangs of when self-doubt and loathing creep into my thoughts and begin to drive inauthentic actions, I simply ask myself, “Is this the core me or bolstered me?”
3 Ways to Build Self-Respect for yourself
- Know Yourself: To gain self-respect, start by embarking on a journey of self-discovery. Aretha Franklin’s powerful anthem was not just about demanding respect from others; it was also a reflection of her recognition of her own worth. Knowing oneself involves asking introspective questions and understanding the core motivations behind our actions and thoughts. This level of self-awareness allows us to untangle the knots of doubt and embrace our authentic selves.
- Accept Yourself: Aretha’s confidence and power came from accepting herself wholeheartedly. Embrace the fact that we all have imperfections and make mistakes. Self-acceptance means acknowledging these imperfections without shame and treating ourselves with kindness and compassion.
- Love Yourself: Self-respect goes hand in hand with self-love. Aretha Franklin’s anthem reminds us that everyone deserves respect and appreciation, including ourselves. Cultivate self-love by recognizing and celebrating your strengths, being forgiving of your flaws, and nurturing a positive relationship with yourself.
Aretha Franklin’s legacy is not only defined by her extraordinary talent but also by her embodiment of respect. By understanding and embracing the principle of showing unconditional value for ourselves and others, we can cultivate self-respect and empower those around us.
Live with respect to celebrate our uniqueness, be authentic, and build a world where everyone is appreciated and valued. Rest in peace Aretha and thank you for an inspiring anthem to ROCK (and Roll) to! XO ~Lee
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Source: 1 Guardian News (August 16, 2018). ‘A women’s anthem’: Aretha Franklin on Respect [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdCll9n1G6Q