ROCK thru when your changes, changes friendships
by Lee Havenga | December 21, 2023
We’ve all experienced those pivotal moments when personal growth prompts us to reconsider our lifestyles and habits. Navigating transformations can be challenging enough, but changes that reshape the dynamics of long-standing friendships make it even harder. Friendships often form around shared interests and commonalities. However, as personal growth takes center stage, the dynamics with your friend groups may shift, too.
You may be embracing a sober lifestyle while still trying to be part of a Sunday football-watching tradition with your friends that usually involves drinking beer. Or you’ve moved from the intensity of running marathons to embracing the tranquility of yoga, which means you don’t attend group training sessions anymore.
Here are a few ways to embrace the ROCK thru principles so that your journey of self-development doesn’t harm the relationships you’ve cultivated.
Welcome the ebb and flow of personal growth and relationships — both are ever-changing.
RESPECT
Apply it
1. Recognize the Value of both Friendship and Change
Acknowledge the unconditional value both you and your friends bring to the friendship. Whether changes occur in your life or theirs, understand that human evolution is a natural, beneficial, and expected process. Embrace the idea that learning and growing are part of our shared journey.
OWNERSHIP
Apply it
Suppose you’ve decided to pursue a new career path that requires additional study hours.
2. Identify Potential Challenges
Anticipate challenges such as finding time for socializing during peak study periods.
3. Develop Strategies
To address this challenge, create strategies to balance your studies with maintaining social connections. For instance, you might schedule specific “social breaks” in your study routine to balance productivity and socializing.
4. Communicate Openly
Share your career-focused changes with your friends. This may involve explaining your aspirations, setting expectations about your availability, and expressing your commitment to sustaining meaningful Connections despite the shift in your schedule.
By tailoring your action plan to the specific challenges of balancing a new career path with socializing, you ensure a thoughtful and intentional approach to maintaining Connections during periods of increased study commitments.
CONNECTION
Apply it
5. Focus on Personal Bonds
If changes in your lifestyle mean altering group activities, redirect your energy toward building Connections with individuals. Regardless of the activity, nurture positive and reciprocal bonds by emphasizing other aspects essential to a good relationship.
6. Expand what Works for You
Make a concerted effort to sustain and grow the parts of your relationship that align with your growth. Whether it’s other shared interests, humor, or specific traditions, actively engage in elements that contribute positively to your Connection and lifestyle change.
7. Be Present
Solidify your interactions by being fully present. Maintain eye contact, actively listen, and set aside distractions like technology. This level of engagement fosters a deeper Connection by conveying your genuine interest and investment in the relationship.
KINDNESS
Apply it
8. Recognize Adjustment Time
Understand that your changes may create uncertainty in your relationships. Give your friends time and space to adjust to the ‘new you.’ Patience is key as everyone navigates this transition at their own pace.
9. Foster Non-judgement
Exercise Kindness by refraining from judgment, both towards yourself and your friends. Just as you don’t want to be judged by others for your change, extend the same courtesy to others who may not want to make changes.
Maintaining a balance with your friendships in the midst of life changes can be difficult. ROCK thru and embrace the fluidity of growth and relationships, recognizing that both evolve over time.
XO ~ Lee
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