ROCK thru when friendships feel sparse

by Lee Havenga | November 23, 2023

While many people gather today to express gratitude for family and friends, what if you find yourself in a different spot, feeling like your social circle is a bit thin? The holiday season often magnifies the importance of connections, making it an opportune time to recognize existing friendships and weave in new threads. Let’s delve into the ROCK thru principles to identify and build those fulfilling connections you seek. Ready to make this Thanksgiving about more than just turkey and pie?

Loneliness is a signal, not a sentence.
Pick up the phone, make plans, and create friendships.

RESPECT

Respect yourself and others unconditionally. Recognize that friendships come in all shapes and sizes. If you feel disconnected, be okay with a few great friends. The Harvard Study of Adult Development emphasizes that the quality of relationships matters more than quantity. Surround yourself with those who genuinely support and uplift you.

Apply it

1. Celebrate Uniqueness: Recognize the unique qualities in yourself and others. Embrace diversity within your friendships and appreciate the distinct traits that make each connection special.

2. Active Listening: Practice active listening in conversations. Show genuine interest in your friends’ lives, opinions, and experiences. This strengthens your connection and fosters an environment of mutual respect.

OWNERSHIP

Assess your situation. Take time to understand your feelings of loneliness or disconnect. Are your interests evolving? It may be time to let go of old friendships and make room for new ones that align with your current lifestyle or values. Taking Ownership of your social circle empowers you to make intentional choices for a happier, healthier life.

Apply it

3. Reflect Regularly: Schedule regular moments for self-reflection. Assess your feelings and experiences and how they align with your friendships. This introspection allows you to take ownership of your social landscape consciously.

4. Embrace Change: Recognize that change is a natural part of life. If your interests change or circumstances shift, proactively align your friendships with your current journey

CONNECTION

A graphic of two hands shaking and forming a heart to represent Connection, one of the four ROCK thru principles.

Forge positive, reciprocal bonds. If you have friends but need more Connection, consider volunteering or joining a special interest club. The Harvard study highlights that people who are more connected to family, friends, and community are happier and physically healthier. Build relationships that go beyond surface-level interactions to foster genuine connections.

Apply it

5. Quality Over Quantity: Focus on quality connections rather than quantity. Invest time and energy in relationships that bring positivity, support, and a sense of reciprocity. Relish a few great friends who know and value you.

6. Shared Experiences: Cultivate deeper connections by creating shared experiences. Whether trying new activities together or supporting each other in personal endeavors, shared moments strengthen bonds.

KINDNESS

A graphic of two hearts floating up from a hand to represent Kindness, one of the four ROCK thru principles.

Generously consider others through action. Express gratitude and let people know they matter. The authors of the Harvard Study stress the importance of prioritizing relationships and being present. Be Kind with curiosity, listen actively, and express affection. Small gestures can go a long way in strengthening bonds and creating a supportive social network.

Apply it

7. Express Gratitude: Regularly express gratitude for the people in your life. A simple ‘thank you’ goes a long way in reinforcing the value of your friendships.

 

8. Be Present: Practice being fully present in your friendships. Put away distractions, actively engage in conversations, and show genuine interest. Being present enriches the quality of your connections.

Whether recognizing the gems in your current circle or bravely venturing into new connections, this journey is yours. As the Harvard Study suggests, life is happier when shared. So, take those intentional steps to ROCK thru to a life adorned with authentic, heartfelt friendships. ~ XO, Lee

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