ROCK thru with more alignment to others
ABUNDANT LIVING SERIES
by Lee Havenga | April 18, 2024
As I watched the recent solar eclipse, it struck me how some people in our lives can eclipse us, making us feel overlooked or unseen. This observation led me to reflect on David Brooks’ concept of ‘illuminators and diminishers.’ Diminishers eclipse others, making people feel small and unworthy. For instance, imagine a team meeting where one person consistently interrupts and dismisses their colleagues’ ideas, stealing their opportunity to shine and contribute fully to the discussion.
Conversely, illuminators are radiant beams of light, not only getting out of the way but empowering them to shine brightly. In a family setting, imagine a dinner conversation where each member actively listens, acknowledges, and respects one another’s ideas, perspectives, and experiences. This fosters a culture of open communication, understanding, and empathy. As a result, family members build stronger connections, resolve conflicts more effectively, and create a harmonious and supportive environment where everyone feels valued and heard.
Ready to become an illuminator? In this segment of the Abundant Living series, we’ll explore a practical technique you can apply today to shine your light and foster stronger connections with others. Get ready to empower others to shine and make energizing connections!
“Above almost any other need, human beings long to have another person look into their faces with love and acceptance.”
~ David Brooks
CONNECTION
Apply it
Introspective questioning is a way to shift mundane small talk to an intriguing and thought-provoking way to gain deeper insights into a person’s thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Instead of sticking to surface-level inquiries, introspective questioning encourages individuals to delve into meaningful topics that reveal more about their inner world.
For example, instead of asking a generic question like “What do you do for a living?” you can ask, “What motivates you in your work?” And you don’t need to stop there. A follow-up question like, “How does that align to your values,” allows you to illuminate the person’s unique perspective even more. These questions stimulate self-reflection, foster meaningful conversations, and deepen connections.
Discover the power of illuminating questions with this list that reframes small talk inquiries into thought-provoking conversations.
ROCK thru life by embracing the illuminator within you, using the principle of connection and introspective questioning to light up the path for others and empower their authentic self-expression. Shine bright and inspire others to do the same! XO ~ Lee
Sources:
Image: Trolinger, Madie “Eclipse” 2024.
Quote: Brooks, David. “The Essential Skills for Being Human.” The New York Times, 19 Oct. 2023, www.nytimes.com/2023/10/19/opinion/social-skills-connection.html.
Technique: Brooks, David. How to Know a Person: A Practical Guide. Random House, 2022.
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