ROCK thru and fiercely protect friendships
by Lee Havenga | October 19, 2023
The recent birthday of a friend who I let drift away was a painful reminder of the nourishment that relationships need. It’s tough to part ways with those with whom you’ve shared laughter, tears, and the rollercoaster of life. And it’s worth protecting genuine friendships even when it takes courage.
This reflective moment prompted me to have an open and honest conversation with another friend. I was concerned about her well-being as she overcame difficult times, but negativity seemed to settle in her heart. A year ago, she really needed someone to confide in and share her frustrations with, and I was honored to be that friend. Thankfully, the situation subsided, but the venting and unbalanced conversations remained.
Drawing from past experiences of regretting letting go of a friendship instead of having the courage to share my feelings and set boundaries, I decided to fiercely protect this friendship by applying the ROCK thru principles—Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness—to navigate the complexities of our evolving relationship.
Strengthen friendship with respect and repair it with forgiveness to stand the test of time.
RESPECT
Apply it
Set boundaries that honor your well-being and the well-being of others.
The foundation of any relationship lies in respecting oneself and others unconditionally. I acknowledged my value by clearly sharing my feelings and concerns. I also recognized the inherent value in my friend, even when aspects of our interactions were difficult for me.
OWNERSHIP
Apply it
Be aware, accept truths, and take positive action for meaningful conversations and change.
Becoming aware of neglected feelings and recognizing patterns reminiscent of past relationships, I took action by initiating an honest conversation during a walk. My friend also took ownership, acknowledging the need for positive change and committing to awareness of the balance in our future interactions.
CONNECTION
Apply it
Foster self-awareness, seek guidance, and engage in open, heartfelt discussions.
Meaningful relationships can grow through connection to self, spirit, and the other person. Feeling the imbalance in our interactions, I connected with my feelings, sought perspective through prayer, and ultimately connected with my friend to express genuine concern.
KINDNESS
Apply it
Seek understanding over abandoning the relationship and communicate openly for mutual growth.
Fiercely protecting friendships involves genuine kindness—clear communication and consideration. Instead of succumbing to cowardliness, I chose to seek understanding and share heartfelt feelings, fostering an environment for open dialogue and growth.
As you navigate the intricacies of friendships, remember to fiercely guard the bonds you hold dear. Let the principles of Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness guide you as you ROCK thru through the waves of friendship! XO ~ Lee
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