ROCK thru and nourish your friendships
by Lee Havenga | November 16, 2023
Friendships are like the magic of a tropical sunset—they illuminate our lives with warm feelings and colorful moments. As I write this, Brett and I are on a vacation with our dear friends. Over two decades, our bond has weathered life’s storms and celebrated its sunny days. Coincidently, this trip came while writing a series of articles on friendship. Our time together was the perfect opportunity to reflect and take note of the things that have helped our 20+ year camaraderie thrive and endure.
The more you invest in friendships, the richer your life becomes
—interest paid in the joy of shared experiences.
RESPECT
Apply it
1. Know and be yourself. When we love our authentic selves and act that way, our social need for pretense, approval, and drama melts away. This leaves more time and energy for the most enjoyable parts of friendship – genuine good times. If you struggle with self-acceptance, invest to make this shift and you’ll flourish in your relationship with yourself and others.
2. Know and accept one another. Go beyond the shiny surface and good times of a friendship. Trust friends with your embarrassing moments, quirky thoughts, and concerns weighing on your heart, and accept theirs, too. The wisdom in Harriet Frew’s words from the article, 6 Ways to Nurture Your Friendships, captures it well, “The only way we can connect closely with others is through our vulnerability.”
3. Recognize the ever-changing. Life’s rhythms are diverse, and judgment and resentment of shifting priorities have no place in friendship. Understand that the amount of time we spend with each other can change without diminishing the bond of a resilient friendship. Value your friends and your relationship through life’s natural ebbs and flows1. .
OWNERSHIP
Apply it
4. Be intentionally aware. Good friends proactively consider the impact of their own behaviors on others and are mindful of what is happening in their friends’ lives. Be deliberately self-aware and aware of others to gain the information to be both a good friend and also to be able to articulate your needs so your friends can be supportive of you.
5. Make considerate decisions. Nurturing friendships involves making compromises and decisions based on thoughtful consideration of everyone involved. Good friends make balanced choices so everyone feels heard, accepted, and valued. Rooted in love and good intentions, these actions contribute to the growth and well-being of the friendship.
CONNECTION
Apply it
6. Have fun and energize each other. Laughter echoes through the years of long-term friendships, and joy is the heartbeat of Connection. Embrace good times and shared experiences to energize bonds and create enduring memories.
7. Prop each other up. From words of wisdom to compassionate actions, a friend is a pillar of support in challenging moments. Shared strength in difficult times deepens the emotional bond, fortifying our Connection.
8. Relish in similarities and grow in differences. Shared interests and activities can spark a friendship and be a source of continued good times. But being interested in each other’s differences also fosters depth and even more enriching conversations and experiences.
KINDNESS
Apply it
9. Be all in. When we share our lives and experiences through stories, undivided attention and interaction is a currency of Kindness. This simple yet profound gesture validates a friend’s, showing them that you care enough to engage fully and deeply when together.
10. Appreciate the profoundness of the ‘everyday.’ Kindness in a friendship is not necessarily about making grand or special gestures. Recognizing and sharing the simple joys and sorrows in our daily lives creates a continuous, sustainable flow of positive energy and support in a friendship.
11. Express gratitude. Genuinely acknowledging and expressing gratitude for each other’s presence and contributions to the friendship adds a layer of Kindness that nourishes each other and the relationship.
May your friendships be as reliant as the tides, carrying you through the highs and lows, creating a powerful force of shared memories and resilient bonds. Apply these four principles to nourish your friendships and ROCK thru!
XO ~ Lee
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