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ROCK thru more unrealistic expectations that are stressing you out
ABUNDANT LIVING SERIES
by Lee Havenga | July 11, 2024
After days of dodgy internet and wicked jetlag, I couldn’t get the weekly ROCK thru article written and sent off. I had set aside time to write while on holiday, but it just didn’t happen. I could have gone to great lengths to get it done, but I had to ask myself, “At what cost?” Staying up all hours trying to connect to Wi-Fi, missing out on new adventures, and prioritizing writing over connecting with my people?
The ‘old me’ (before I learned to ROCK thru life) would have done these things because of an ongoing drive to meet unrealistic self-imposed expectations. I used to jump through hoops like a circus animal. Instead, inspired by the four ROCK thru principles and the Welsh sheep grazing in the rolling green hills I saw during a long signal-free drive, I’ve decided to take a four-week sabbatical.
In this Abundant Living series article, I’ll share how to let go of actions driven by fear, expectations, or emotions and instead seize opportunities to live by your actual values. Begin by asking yourself: What routine action might you reevaluate? What drives that action? Is it aligned with your values or something else?
”Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”
— Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler
from “The Art of Happiness”
RESPECT
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Apply it
We all have unconditional value. I’ve written weekly articles for almost two years without missing a week. It was tough to let go and take time away. But why? What was driving this relentless need to write every week? The commitment to writing wasn’t the issue—it was not allowing myself a break when needed. I reminded myself of my intrinsic worth. I’m valuable whether I maintain my weekly writing streak or not.
What regular activity might you need a break from? Could a pause offer you unexpected benefits?
OWNERSHIP
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Apply it
Intentionally assess the real drivers behind your actions—emotions or fears. For me, it was the fear of not being enough unless I was constantly creating. I asked myself, what’s the worst that could happen if I took a break and fully enjoyed my holiday? What if I let go of the fear of not being enough and acted according to my values—travel, adventure, and spending time with loved ones?
What routine might you reevaluate to understand its true impact on your life?
CONNECTION
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Apply it
Taking a break from writing allowed me to connect more deeply with myself, others, and my God. I’m usually immersed in thinking about, researching, or writing ROCK thru articles. The mental break let me connect without distraction. Sharing this experience with others led to genuine connections, grounded in mutual joy and shared experiences, rather than obligation.
What deeper connections might you forge by stepping away from a routine activity?
KINDNESS
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Apply it
The ROCK thru definition of Kindness is generous consideration through action. It was lavishly considerate to myself and my family to be fully present. And giving my mind freedom to wander was a kind and wonderful act. According to ”The Art of Happiness“ by Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler, acts of kindness and generosity lead to increased happiness and well-being.
What kind and wonderful act will you do for yourself and others by taking a break from a routine that no longer serves you?
Taking a break and reassessing your routines through the ROCK thru principles can bring unexpected joy and Connections into your life. So take a moment to let go of actions driven by obligation or sheer habit and embrace those that align with your true values.
Focusing on Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness can refresh your perspective and reveal the true benefits of living according to your values. Let’s ROCK thru and make mindful breaks from our routine as a cornerstone of our abundant lives. I’ll be back in your inbox in August after my sabbatical, ready to continue our journey together.
XO ~ Lee
Source:
Bstan-ʼdzin-rgya-mtsho, and Howard C. Cutler. The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living. Riverhead Books, 1998.
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