ROCK thru more feelings of scarcity
ABUNDANT LIVING SERIES
by Lee Havenga | July 4, 2024
The other day, a friend dropped by. As she was leaving, I remembered the giant patch of daisies blooming in my front yard. I ran inside to grab scissors to share some with her. After she left, I cut more flowers for my neighbor Nancy, who was celebrating her 90th birthday. Before I could deliver them, a teen from the neighborhood walked by with her dogs. I offered the flowers to them and they were delighted. Then, a couple strolled past and complimented me on the daisies, so I shared some with them, too. It felt wonderful to engage in this impromptu flower-sharing spree. But when I returned to the flower patch to finally cut Nancy’s bouquet, I noticed that most of them were gone. My heart sank a little, shifting from the joy of giving to feelings of scarcity. So I paused to ROCK thru. In this Abundant Living series article, I’ll share how I used the ROCK thru principles to overcome feelings of greed and regain the joy of giving.
“We habitually fail to enjoy, savor, and live in the present, as our minds are often someplace else. However, when you think about it, the present moment is all we are really guaranteed.”
— Sonja Lyubomirsky
RESPECT
Apply it
Recognize your unconditional value
It’s crucial to let go of the need to fill the hole of self-worth with possessions or the pursuit of positive impressions from others. For example, thoughts like, “If I give away all the flowers, no one will notice what a great gardener I am,” can be like a whisper but greatly hinder your ability to be generous. Cultivate self-Respect, your value as a human isn’t tied to material things or how you are perceived.
OWNERSHIP
Apply it
Get honest about your feelings and their origins
- Awareness: Take a moment to assess the truths of the situation.
- Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way? What’s driving these feelings? Insecurity, pride, dissatisfaction?”
- Consider where your abundance came from. Often, our bounty is rooted in the generosity of others. My daisy plant, for instance, was a gift from another neighbor when her batch was getting too large. My bounty came from the generosity of someone else. (This realization was quite humbling.)
- Acceptance: Accept these truths without making excuses. Recognize your feelings and the underlying reasons for them.
- Action: Let generosity flow immediately. When you feel the spark of generosity, act on it without hesitation. Society often conditions us to hold onto what we have, but true joy comes from sharing. I gave the first flowers freely and felt immensely joyful. As soon as I began to overthink, feelings of scarcity crept in.
CONNECTION
Apply it
Share without expectations
When you share your abundance with others without expecting anything in return, you connect more deeply. For instance, when I shared my daisies with passers-by, their surprise and delight created a brief but meaningful bond. Giving freely builds trust and goodwill, deepening relationships and enriching social ties. These Connections remind us of our shared humanity and the joy of brightening someone else’s day.
KINDNESS
Apply it
Practice generosity regularly
According to ”The How of Happiness“ by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Kindness and generosity can significantly boost your happiness and well-being. Being generous can make you feel as good, if not better, than the recipient. Now, whenever I see the daisies, I don’t admire their beauty—I remember the joy of that day and the smiles I received through simple acts of giving.
Remember, giving freely and embracing the ROCK Thru principles can bring unexpected joy and connection into your life. So, take a moment to let your generosity flow. Oh, and yes, did I finally cut a bouquet for Nancy with the last bloomed daisies. Her elated reaction made me so happy—happier than a patch of daisies in the garden could ever make me.
By focusing on Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness, you can overcome feelings of greed and discover the true thrill of giving. Let’s ROCK thru and make generosity a cornerstone of our abundant lives.
XO ~ Lee
Source:
Lyubomirsky, Sonja. The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want. Penguin Press, 2008.
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