Kindness: Practice self-compassion to heal and empower

Respect • Ownership • Connection • Kindness

By Lee Havenga | January 23, 2025

Practice self-compassion by embracing the ROCK thru principle of Kindness, which begins with being kind to yourself. The ROCK thru principles—Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness—are deeply interconnected. By practicing self-respect and cultivating a stronger self-connection, you become more attuned to your own needs, allowing you to act with kindness toward yourself.

Self-kindness isn’t indulgence—it’s empowerment. The first step toward self-kindness is practicing compassion: acknowledging your struggles and soothing them without judgment. By nurturing yourself instead of ignoring your emotions, you build resilience and create space for authentic joy and fulfillment.

A simple yet powerful technique to practice self-compassion is Dr. Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Break, a transformative practice that can help you embrace your feelings with kindness and understanding.

APPLY IT IN 10 MINUTES

Take a self-compassion break. When you’re facing a stressful situation, pause and notice where you feel the discomfort in your body. Acknowledge the emotions you’re experiencing, then guide yourself by saying these three statements:

1. “This is a moment of suffering”

Acknowledge the reality of what you are going through. Become fully aware of your experience. It’s an opportunity to recognize what you’re feeling without judgment. Some alternate options:

“I am experiencing stress.”
“This feels heavy right now.”
“I feel overwhelmed.”

2. “Suffering is a part of life”

Accept that suffering is part of being human, and you are not alone in this experience. By connecting to this awareness, you build a sense of shared humanity. Other ways to express this:

“I know others feel this way too.”
“Stress is part of life’s challenges.”
“I’m not alone in facing struggles.”

3. “May I be kind to myself”

Move into an attitude of self-compassion. With acceptance, allow yourself to be gentle with what you’re experiencing. The key here is to embrace the present moment without adding any judgment or self-criticism. Other phrases that may feel right for you:

“May I accept myself fully as I am.”
“May I be gentle to myself during this time.”
“May I forgive myself.”

DEEPEN THE IMPACT of PRACTICING SELF-COMPASSION

As you move through these steps, allow your hands to rest over your heart or gently place them somewhere on your body where you can feel a sense of comfort. You can add a soothing movement that feels right for you—crossing and gently stroking your arms or swaying your body back and forth. Physical touch can reinforce the sense of Kindness and acceptance you’re cultivating for yourself. This practice can be adapted anytime you feel overwhelmed or stressed, and it serves as a potent reminder that you have ownership over your response to difficult situations, awareness of your shared humanity, and the ability to embrace acceptance of yourself and your feelings.

MORE RESOURCES to PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION

While the core concept remains the same, Self Compassion Breaks can be modified for different situations. Here are six guided self-compassion breaks, each for a different scenario:

Source:

Neff, Kristin. “Exercise 2: Self-Compassion Break.” Self-Compassion, https://self-compassion.org/exercises/exercise-2-self-compassion-break/. Accessed 15 Jan. 2025.