ROCK thru in 4-D

by Lee Havenga | December 15, 2022

RESPECT

We often think of respect as being earned. This definition of respect is limiting, reserved for a select few — those who meet our approval or are like us. I invite you to try a broader, more expansive approach to Respect, treating everyone as valuable unconditionally.

Apply it

How can you go into the world with widespread Respect?

Enter into every encounter, knowing that we are all doing our best, even when it doesn’t seem so great. Remember that each person is unique, and we are unaware of both their challenges and victories.

Approach every interaction, especially the challenging ones, with an understanding that each of us has fears, pains, and losses that are the undercurrent of our actions. Although these negative emotions often drive our behavior, it doesn’t mean we excuse inappropriate behavior. Instead, react with compassion alongside healthy boundaries.

 

OWNERSHIP

Go long with Ownership to feel how accountability ignites contentment.
Even taking Ownership in small ways make a difference, and feelings of authenticity multiply each time you do.

Apply it

Opportunities to take Ownership are all around us. Seek moments throughout the day to apply the three A’s of Ownership by becoming Aware, Accepting the truths of the situation, and taking Action. The more you practice, the easier and more automatic Ownership will be and the more genuine you will feel. Here are two examples to get you started:

Take Ownership to de-stress:

When you feel overwhelmed, take Ownership.

  1. Pause for a moment to become aware of the cause of your stress.
  2. Accept what you discover as truths.
  3. Then, take Action to change the situation or engage in calming activities.

Take Ownership to nurture a relationship:

Perhaps during a conversation, a friend reacts in a nuanced way that appears they may feel uncomfortable with something you said. Usually, you may brush it off. To take Ownership:

  1. Replay the conversation to become Aware of anything that may have been offensive.
  2. Accept that you may have hurt your friend.
  3. Take Action by reaching out to your friend to discuss the situation.

CONNECTION

A graphic of two hands shaking and forming a heart to represent Connection, one of the four ROCK thru principles.

Go deep into your connections by being truly present with each interaction.

When you show up with all your senses, as if nothing else matters more than the other person, the warm feelings of synergy will stay with you both long after your conversation ends.

Apply it

To try this out, choose a person you want to connect with deeply. Before you meet, imagine the ability to freeze time and pause the busy, attention-seeking world. You have nowhere else to be but, in that moment, with that person. Pay deep attention and hang on to each word the other person says. How does it feel to be undividedly connected to another person?

 

KINDNESS

A graphic of two hearts floating up from a hand to represent Kindness, one of the four ROCK thru principles.

Time, 4th dimension, is our most precious commodity. We change the world when we take the time to give Kindness every day.

Apply it

What do you see when you imagine a world where each and every person takes just 10 minutes out of the rush and furry to be kind?

 

I see more smiles and fewer tears. Strangers exchanging pleasantries and neighbors bringing over a few freshly baked cookies. Flowers are left secretly on doorsteps. And I can almost feel the hugs and long embraces. I see a world with more love.

 

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