ROCK thru when life feels like a climb | Ownership
by Lee Havenga | April 27, 2023
We encounter many challenging moments in life: A tragic mistake. Unexpected illness. Discovery of deceit. Incomprehensible loss. When life feels like a climb, emotional overload sets in, and suddenly we’ve watched all ten seasons of Friends — again. Denial and avoidance feel so much better than facing reality. But, when we emerge from our Netflix coma, the challenges are still there, and they will be until we do these three things:
OWNERSHIP
“No one is coming to save you.
No one is coming to push you.
It’s all up to YOU.”
~ Mel Robbins, from
THIS is the only way to get what you want, 1-minute video
Apply it
1. Become aware
Being honest with ourselves is difficult, but only when we face the truths of a situation can we overcome them. Try this awareness practice to displace emotion with logic and see the path forward more clearly.
Rewind and review the past as an objective observer. No emotions — just the facts. What do you see? What happened? Write it down — just the facts. We’re not judging or assessing what we could or should have done differently. We’re just observing and writing down what we see.
I was preoccupied with work.
His father abused him.
She stopped calling.
I was heartbroken.
She didn’t defend me.
I was jealous.
I trusted him.
Now, imagine the future. Ignore emotions and degrading self-talk — just the facts. What does contentment look like in this situation? What are the steps to get there? What sacrifices do you need to make? What do you need to do? Write down what you see.
2. Accept the truth
Take a big breath in and a long, slow breath out, be courageous and say,
“I accept these as truths and will take action.”
3. Take Action…one action forward
Just like climbing a mountain, climbing out of a challenge takes a thousand steps, one step at a time. Movement towards your goal is the only way to reach your summit. So what is one step you can do today? You’ll take another step tomorrow. But today, take just one, whatever it is. Make a call. Learn more about it. Do the paperwork. Make a Connection. It’s up to you to take the step, and I know you can do it.
These articles are a bit of thought-provoking encouragement, meeting you wherever you are. For more in-depth guidance on taking Ownership, check out this article. Also, if unpacking any of these steps is unbearable, please complete them with help. Seek support from a trusted friend, colleague, or therapist.
ROCK thru life’s climbs with Ownership, and I’ll be rooting for you every step of the way. ~ XO, Lee
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