ROCK thru by creating more hope in a divided world
ABUNDANT LIVING SERIES
by Lee Havenga | August 29, 2024
With the U.S. Presidential election looming and tensions running high, it’s easy to get swept up in the negative vibes swirling around us. Yet, even in these charged times, simple acts of Kindness can break through the noise and restore our faith in humanity. I was reminded of this recently during a quick grocery run that turned into something much more meaningful.
I had just run into the store for one thing. Ten minutes later, I found myself with a teetering tower of items in my arms, all because I thought, “I don’t need a basket; I’m just grabbing one thing!” Famous last words. As I awkwardly juggled to open the freezer door for the final impromptu item, I noticed a man sprinting toward me. Yes, sprinting. He’d seen my struggle and, without hesitation, offered me a basket. Relief washed over me as I dumped everything into the basket he held out.
I’m always moved by Kindness, but this one felt particularly powerful in these divisive times. It wasn’t just about the help but about what his Kindness symbolized. In a world that often feels divided, this simple act reminded me that there are still people who observe, care, and act with selflessness. It was a beacon of hope, a reassurance that humanity’s heart still beats strong.
In this Abundant Living series, I’ll share how you can use the four ROCK thru principles—Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness—to bring more hope and deeper connections to our shared humanity through simple acts.
In brokenness, be the glue that binds.
RESPECT
Apply it
Practice listening with the intent to understand, not to reply.
Respect is about recognizing the inherent worth of every person, even those with whom we might disagree. In times of division, it’s easy to dismiss others’ opinions, especially when they differ from our own. However, respecting someone means truly listening to what they have to say, even if it challenges your beliefs.
Apply it:
The next time you find yourself in a conversation where opinions clash, resist the urge to immediately counter or dismiss the other person’s view. Instead, listen fully. You might start with a simple phrase like, “Help me understand your perspective.” This approach doesn’t mean you have to agree, but it opens the door for a respectful dialogue that values the other person’s voice.
OWNERSHIP
Apply it
Reflect on how your words and actions contribute to the environment around you.
Ownership is about acknowledging your role in fostering or bridging divides. It’s easy to blame others for the negativity around us, but we each play a part in shaping the atmosphere in our circles, whether at work, in our communities, or online.
Apply it:
1. Before engaging in a potentially heated discussion, take a moment to reflect.
2. Ask yourself, “Am I contributing to understanding, or am I adding to the divide?”
3. Own your actions and be a force for unity and reciprocal understanding, even in small ways.
For example, pause before reacting if a social media post feels divisive. Consider how your comment might escalate or calm the situation. A respectful, measured response can often lead to a more constructive conversation.
However, Ownership also means knowing when to disengage. If you find that the person you’re communicating with is not open to dialogue or is being belligerent, it’s okay to step back. Disengaging in such situations is better than continuing a conversation where no one is truly listening, and the exchange only fuels further disconnection. By recognizing when a conversation is unproductive, you take Ownership of your emotional well-being and help prevent unnecessary conflict.
CONNECTION
Apply it
Foster connections through shared experiences and common ground.
Connection is about seeing beyond differences and finding what unites us. When we actively seek common ground, we create opportunities for camaraderie, even in divided times.
Apply it:
If you’re in a group setting where tensions are high, try to steer the conversation toward shared experiences or mutual interests. For instance, if you’re in a meeting where political opinions are clashing, you might redirect the conversation by saying, “I think we all agree that we want what’s best for our community. How can we work together to achieve that?” This simple shift can help diffuse tension and remind everyone that, despite differences, there are always areas where we can connect.
In The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker, the author emphasizes creating intentional spaces where meaningful connections can occur. One practical takeaway from the book is setting ground rules for discussions that encourage respect and understanding, which can be especially helpful in divided times.
KINDNESS
Apply it
Lead with generous consideration through action
Small acts of Kindness can have a ripple effect that goes far beyond the initial gesture. In fact, research backs this up. A study published in The Journal of Positive Psychology found that Kindness is contagious. When someone experiences an act of Kindness, they are more likely to “pay it forward” and perform similar acts for others, creating a ripple effect that can spread through entire communities.
Apply it:
Look for opportunities to perform small, thoughtful acts of Kindness throughout your day. This could be as simple as offering to help someone struggling with heavy bags, paying for a stranger’s coffee when you see them searching for change, or checking in on a colleague who seems stressed. The key is to seek out the needs of others, expecting nothing in return. These small gestures uplift the recipient and encourage them to pass on the Kindness, multiplying the positive impact.
Kindness isn’t just for others; it’s for yourself, too. Take time to recharge and care for your own well-being so that you can continue to give to others. This might mean setting boundaries to protect your mental health or taking a break when you need it.
In a world that can sometimes feel contentious, remember that you have the power to make a difference through simple acts of Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness. These small choices are the building blocks of a collaborative, compassionate society. So next time you see someone struggling, be the person who sprints to help with a basket—or whatever form that Kindness may take. Together, we can ROCK thru to a brighter, more hopeful humanity.
XO ~ Lee
Source:
Parker, Priya. The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters. Riverhead Books, 2018.
Pressman, Sarah D., Tara L. Kraft, and Marie P. Cross. “It’s Good to Do Good and Receive Good: The Impact of a ‘Pay It Forward’ Style Kindness Intervention on Giver and Receiver Well-Being.” The Journal of Positive Psychology, vol. 10, no. 4, 2015, pp. 293-310, doi:10.1080/17439760.2014.965269.
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