ROCK thru burnout | Part 3: Connection
by Lee Havenga | March 16, 2023
Perfectionism was my constant companion. Disguised as a type-A personality and a go-getter, I would “achieve” at all costs. And indeed, the price of burnout was high, paying with the currency of illness. Multiple Sclerosis relapses forced me to slow down and reprioritize my choices. It was authentic and unfiltered Connections to myself, my people, and my God that began my healing journey and finally ended my need to perform for acceptance.
CONNECTION
The need to do more and have more comes from feeling ‘less than’ or even the desire to feel nothing at all.
1. Connection to self
It is impossible to ignore ourselves and simultaneously be physically and mentally healthy. Although challenging, for a content life, it’s necessary to listen to yourself, feel your emotions, and respond with nurturing.
Apply it
Lean into the authentic values you embraced in Part 2 of this series. The more your actions reflect your values, the less you’ll sacrifice yourself and feel depleted.
2. Connection to others
Connect with others by showing up as yourself and acting on your core values. Although, at times, others may be disappointed, when your actions align with your values, you strengthen their understanding of your true self and the relationship.
Apply it
Let’s say one of your core values is creativity, so you sign up to help paint a mural at the community center. Then, a friend invites you to her housewarming barbecue scheduled for that same day. Even though forgoing the mural will make your friend happy in the short-term, long-term, you’ve confused your friend’s understanding of who you are by not acting on your value.
Here’s an example response that keeps a connection to yourself and makes a solid connection to your friend:
“I wish I could attend, but I’m painting a mural at the community center that day. I’d love to celebrate your new home and paint a mural for you if you’d like.” With this response, you’ve kept your original commitment and celebrated your friend’s milestone in alignment with your creativity value.
3. Connection to Spirit
Our connection to Spirit fuels our innate desire to understand life beyond ourselves. It gives us the purpose and wisdom we seek and the humility we need.
Apply it
Next time you are tempted to over-commit, work another weekend or pass up a great opportunity that scares you, connect to Spirit for guidance. Close your eyes, get quiet, and ask, “Will this truly fulfill the purpose I’ve been created for?” Then, wait for the answer that aligns with your values and take action.
Wishing you wisdom and clarity as you make Connections that guide you to live in alignment with your authenticity. ROCK thru! ~ Lee
Continue your escape from burnout with the other articles in this series:
Part 1: ROCK thru burnout with Respect
Part 2: ROCK thru burnout with Ownership
Part 4: ROCK thru burnout with Kindness
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