ROCK thru frustrations to find more calm in chaos
ABUNDANT LIVING SERIES
by Lee Havenga | August 15, 2024
After a refreshing 4-week sabbatical, I’m thrilled to reconnect with you and dive back into the ROCK thru Abundant Living series. My time away was filled with rich experiences and deep Connections, leaving me energized and eager to share fresh insights. But here’s the thing—traveling across five flights and eight cities in three weeks wasn’t exactly a recipe for serenity. Between lost luggage, delayed flights, and an immigration debacle caused by the global CrowdStrike outage, the chaos was sometimes relentless.
We’ve all been stuck in traffic, wrestling with a tech glitch, or trying to stay calm in a never-ending line. These daily frustrations can quickly drain your peace of mind, making it easy to snap at others or let the stress take over. In this Abundant Living article, I’ll show you how to use the four ROCK thru principles to navigate these frustrating moments more calmly and efficiently. Because let’s be honest, life’s too short to let minor annoyances steal your peace.
Chaos is temporary; your calm can be permanent.
RESPECT
Apply it
1. Acknowledge Your Worth: Remind yourself that your value is independent of your circumstances.
When you find yourself stuck in an aggravating situation, like waiting in a long line or dealing with a last-minute work crisis, it’s easy to feel frustrated and undervalued. But remember, your worth isn’t tied to how smoothly things are going. Start by acknowledging that you deserve calm and peace, even when everything around you feels chaotic.
Next time you’re in a frustrating situation, take a deep breath and remind yourself that your value doesn’t hinge on external events. This simple shift in perspective can help you maintain your cool and avoid letting the situation dictate your mood.
2. Recognize Others’ Value: Practice seeing the value in others, even when you’re frustrated.
Respect for others means recognizing that they, too, are valuable, even when they might be contributing to your frustration. Whether it’s a stressed-out customer service representative or a colleague who missed a deadline, try to see their efforts and challenges.
When dealing with someone making your day harder, pause and consider their perspective. A little understanding can go a long way in diffusing tension and maintaining a calm, respectful interaction.
OWNERSHIP
Apply it
3. Take Control of Your Reactions: Own your emotions and decide how you want to respond.
Frustration often stems from feeling like things are out of your control. Practicing Ownership means taking charge of your emotions instead of letting them run wild. Ask yourself, “What can I control in this situation?” This shift can help you stay calm and focused, even when things aren’t going your way.
If you’re facing a frustrating delay, take a moment to own your feelings instead of fuming. Acknowledge your frustration, but then choose how you want to respond—whether it’s finding a distraction or calmly addressing the issue.
CONNECTION
Apply it
4. Foster Understanding, Not Blame: Seek to understand others before reacting.
Connection is about empathizing with others, especially in moments of frustration. Instead of jumping to conclusions or assigning blame, take a step back and consider what the other person might be experiencing.
When you’re upset with someone, whether a friend, colleague, or stranger, try to see the situation from their perspective. This approach not only helps you stay calm but can also turn a potentially negative interaction into a positive one.
In Stephen Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, the habit of “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” is highlighted as a key way to build strong, empathetic connections. This habit can transform frustrating situations into opportunities for greater understanding and calm.
KINDNESS
Apply it
5. Practice Self-Compassion: Extend patience and Kindness to yourself, especially when things go wrong.
Being kind to yourself means giving yourself the grace to make mistakes and face challenges without harsh judgment. When things aren’t going as planned, it’s easy to be your worst critic. But self-compassion can help you stay calm and resilient.
If your day isn’t going as planned, take a moment to practice self-compassion instead of beating yourself up. Remind yourself that it’s okay to have tough days and that you’re doing your best.
6. Offer Grace: Extend Kindness to others, even when you’re frustrated.
Kindness to others is about showing patience and understanding, even when it is difficult. In frustrating situations, a small act of Kindness—like a smile, a thank you, or simply keeping your cool—can make a big difference.
Instead of snapping at the person involved, try offering a kind word or gesture when dealing with a difficult situation. This helps you both stay calm and positively impacts the way the other person problem-solves for you.
Life will always throw frustrating situations your way, but with the ROCK thru principles, you can navigate them with more calm and composure. Remember to Respect yourself and others, take Ownership of your emotions, seek Connection, and extend Kindness in every interaction.
Keep calm and ROCK thru
even when your flight is delayed and your luggage is lost!
XO ~ Lee
Source:
Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. Free Press, 2004.
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