Woman sitting in front of computer to represent her using the FAST technique to grow self-respect
Header text with the name and description of this article series: Apply it - Simple techniques to ROCK thru life

Self-Respect: Use 'FAST' to build self-respect

Respect • Ownership • Connection • Kindness

By Lee Havenga | January 2, 2025

Woman sitting in front of computer to represent her using the FAST technique to grow self-respect

A strong sense of self-Respect, rooted in valuing yourself unconditionally, serves as the bedrock for a stable and fulfilling life. When you ROCK thru and build self-Respect, honoring your inherent worth, you create a solid foundation from which healthy decisions, personal growth, and resilience naturally emerge. 

The FAST technique is a simple yet powerful framework for building self-esteem by aligning your daily choices with fairness, authenticity, and integrity.

APPLY IT IN 3 MINUTES

Step 1: Pause and Reflect 

Before making a decision, take a moment to pause. Ask yourself: “Am I considering my needs, values, and truth in this situation?” This pause gives you the space to think intentionally instead of reacting impulsively. 

Step 2: Apply the FAST Principles 

  • Fair: Ensure your decision respects both your needs and others’ needs.
  • Apologies: Avoid apologizing unnecessarily. Check whether you’re justifying your choice out of fear or self-doubt.
  • Stick to Your Values: Confirm that your choice aligns with your core beliefs. Ask, “Am I compromising my values to please others?”
  • Truthful: Commit to honesty in your reasoning and communication. Be clear about your intentions without exaggeration or excuses. 

Step 3: Decide and Act with Confidence 

Once you’ve run through the FAST principles, make your choice with confidence, knowing it reflects who you are and what you value. Even if it’s challenging, trust that this process strengthens your self-esteem. 

Step 4: Reflect and Adjust 

Afterward, reflect on the outcome. Did your decision honor your self-respect? If not, identify what you might do differently next time to stay true to the FAST principles.

MORE RESOURCES to BUILD SELF-RESPECT

To take Ownership and build self-respect, explore this comprehensive article on actionable techniques to increase self-worth—helping you become aware, accept areas for growth, and take meaningful action. 

Source:

Marsha M. Linehan’s book, ​Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder​ (1993, The Guilford Press, New York, NY).

 

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