ROCK thru by letting go of the need for approval
by Lee Havenga | September 28, 2023
I do my best thinking while I am deep in the National Forest. Recently, while hiking, I was inspired to record and post a video message to the ROCK thru community. Later that week, I ran into a friend who asked, “You were so brave to post that video without any makeup on. Aren’t you afraid people will think you’ve ‘let yourself go’?” My response to her almost shocked me because a few short years ago, I couldn’t have said, “I haven’t let myself go; I’ve let worrying about what people think go.”
Embracing the ROCK thru principle of self-Respect allowed me to lean into my inherent value unconditionally, in all my bare-faced, sweaty, and ‘just woke up’ glory. Here are seven ways worrying about what people think may be negatively impacting you and the actionable ways to foster self-respect and stop wasting your precious time and energy.
The most authentic version of you is always the most beautiful.
RESPECT
Seven ways worrying about what people think may be negatively impacting you and what to do instead
1. Inauthentic Relationships
Pretending to be someone you’re not to gain approval can result in shallow, inauthentic connections.
Instead, seek out and nurture relationships with people who accept you for who you are, allowing you to be your authentic self.
2. Missed Opportunities
Fearing criticism, you might avoid taking risks or pursuing opportunities that could lead to personal or professional growth.
Instead, develop a growth mindset and focus on the learning experience rather than the fear of failure when taking risks.
3. Difficulty Making Decisions
You may struggle to make decisions when you’re preoccupied with how others will perceive them.
Instead, develop a decision-making framework that aligns with your values and goals, helping you make choices more confidently.
4. Living by Others’ Standards
Caring too much about others’ opinions can lead to living by their standards, not your own, resulting in a lack of fulfillment.
Instead, reflect on your own values and what truly matters to you, and align your life accordingly.
5. External Validation Dependency
Relying on external validation for happiness and self-worth puts your emotional well-being in the hands of others.
Instead, focus on self-care and self-love practices to build your self-worth internally rather than relying on external validation.
6. Constant Stress
The pressure to meet others’ expectations can keep you in a continuous state of stress, robbing you of joy.
Instead, implement stress-reduction techniques like exercise, deep breathing, or spending time in nature to alleviate stress.
7. Lack of Boundaries
Overvaluing others’ opinions may lead to a lack of personal boundaries, as you may not assert your needs and values.
Instead, assertively communicate your needs and boundaries and prioritize self-care to maintain your well-being.
Apply these strategies to foster self-respect and gradually shift your focus away from others’ opinions, allowing you to ROCK thru — live authentically, find success, and experience joy. XO ~ Lee
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