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ROCK thru burnout | Part 4: Kindness

by Lee Havenga | March 23, 2023

When people first learn about the four ROCK thru principles, Kindness always gets a lot of questioning because it seems too squishy to be important. The skepticism may be high, but make no mistake, the positive impact of Kindness is even higher. Self-Kindness, generous consideration for yourself, is the cornerstone of going from burnout to smart and fulfilling use of our time.

KINDNESS

A graphic of two hearts floating up from a hand to represent Kindness, one of the four ROCK thru principles.

To feel the difference between thriving and surviving, know the difference between self-care and selfishness.

Self-care gives your mind, body, and Spirit what you need to thrive. Unfortunately, too many of us sacrifice critical activities that fuel us and instead strive for exhausting martyrdom. But it’s actually selfish to be running on empty because depletion often causes feelings of resentment that lead us to lash out reactively.

Apply it

Make an effort to function at your optimum by generously giving yourself enough of these five foundational elements to mentally and physically thrive:

Sleep

Water

Movement

Mindfulness

Joy

1. Assess your levels of self-Kindness

Start by assessing your intake compared to what research says is an optimal amount:

Table that contains data of the amount of self-kindness activities needed to prevent burnout

You’ll notice that there is no recommended amount of joy. The non-existent data is a reflection of our culture. Unfortunately, scientists have yet to study joy in the same quantifiable way as other health concerns such as weight, cholesterol, and sugar intake. However, scientists do confirm that joy, indeed, is essential to our health. According to University of Southern California neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, “the current scientific knowledge regarding joy supports the notion that it should be actively sought because it does contribute to flourishing.”


2. Prioritize your self-Kindness list

Next, list the five foundational elements in order of abundance in your life, from greatest to least. First, list any that you already do consistently at the optimal level. Then add the ones that you need to make moderate adjustments to achieve. Finally, end your list with the items that may be the most challenging to add to your lifestyle.

 

3. Practice self-Kindness

Slowly and thoughtfully throughout at least a month, focus on increasing the first item on your list with a deficit. We’re looking to feel the victory of the easiest ‘win’ first. Tackling the easiest ones first empowers you to achieve the more difficult ones. Practice to reach the goal and relish in your successes.

The intent is to make a long-term change, so please, only tackle one at a time. This will help you recognize the benefit of achieving each activity before approaching the next one.

Some of these five areas will feel reasonable, and others may seem impossible. If you falter for a day or two, lean into self-Respect, accept yourself unconditionally, and continue to strive to incorporate these five necessities into your daily life.

Continue your escape from burnout with the other articles in this series:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

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