ROCK thru burnout | Part 1: Respect
by Lee Havenga | March 2, 2023
Burnout is a symptom of fear. We fear we’ll fail if we don’t do it all perfectly. We are so bombarded by filtered Instagram photos and Photoshopped advertising that we subconsciously believe the combination of thousands of people’s fake ‘reality’ should be our reality. The addictive social media algorithm makes us think that we should simultaneously and flawlessly create the perfect home and garden, shred it on the Peloton, blend up a kale smoothie, and do the latest TikTok moves while also rescuing drowning kittens. Oh, and we can do all of this in our free time because we have a wildly successful career and, of course, the perfect romantic relationship and kids. Sounds ridiculous, right? Logically, we know it’s all crap, but we continue the treadmill lifestyle that drives us to burnout. It’s time to stop.
RESPECT
What determines your value is how much you believe you are valuable.
Stop the insanity of ‘I’m not enough unless I’m amazing at everything’ by strengthening your Self-respect, knowing you’re valuable unconditionally. UNCONDITIONALLY.
What you do or don’t do, does not determine your value.
How much income you do or don’t earn does not determine your value.
Who you do or don’t love does not determine your value.
Who does or doesn’t love you does not determine your value.
To know you have absolute value, you must intentionally shut down the inner voice that tells you anything different than, “You are valuable in this very moment and every moment.” Below are three ways to begin practicing. And yes, you do need to practice to go against the influence of billions of advertising dollars and social media posts.
Apply it
1. Nurture the change
Years of conditioning drive us to doubt our worth. A small mantra, said several times daily, is a proven way to begin an intentional mind shift. As you start, you can set a timer to remind yourself to pause a few times a day to infuse a self-Respect truth into your routine. Pick from the ones below, from this longer list, or create your own. Keep it short yet meaningful.
I don’t have to do-it-all, only what I love.
I am valuable regardless of what I do or don’t do.
I don’t need to earn my worth.
2. Disconnect from both criticism and praise
If you want to be free from the burden of criticism from others, you also need to free yourself from the boost from validation from others. You are valuable, regardless of who criticizes or praises you. Learn to recognize when you are reacting to the opinion of others. When you sense a negative opinion from others, respond by saying to yourself, “I am no less valuable if they have a negative impression of me.” Likewise, when someone gives you high praise, remind yourself, “I am no more valuable because they have a positive impression of me.” This keeps you balanced, firm in your values, and not easily influenced by others.
3. Respect others
Make Respect for all beings a value reflected in all you do. When you are respectful to others, seeing all people as having unconditional value, you’ll soon be able to impart that same Respect to yourself. You can practice imparting Respect to everyone you come in contact with. One way to practice this is by sitting at a busy mall or restaurant. As each person passes, acknowledge their worth by thinking, “They are valuable unconditionally.” You can do this anywhere. You can scan the row at church, on a bus, or at work, as colleagues come on to a video conference call or customers come in.
The more you practice recognizing that people have inherent worth, the more you’ll be able to see the same in yourself.
Continue your escape from burnout with the other articles in this series:
Part 2: ROCK thru burnout with Ownership
Part 3: ROCK thru burnout with Connection
Part 4: ROCK thru burnout with Kindness
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