ROCK thru when you're not feeling thankful at Thanksgiving
by Lee Havenga | November 24, 2022
RESPECT
If you need this today, let this be permission that you don’t need to feel thankful on Thanksgiving. Your feelings are real and reflect your current circumstances. Be authentic to yourself and let yourself feel your feelings.
Apply it
When everyone around you seems to be expressing gratitude and all you can feel is heartache, pain, or overwhelmedness, accept yourself and your feelings. Remind yourself that you are valuable, unconditionally, even when you aren’t in a place of gleeful gratitude on the day that it’s expected. And when you’re ready, know that you can work to feel thankful if you want to.
OWNERSHIP
It’s easy to feel thankful when life is going well and everything falls into place. But when things are falling apart, and you work to feel thankful, the gratitude is so much deeper.
Apply it
Gratitude is an emotion we feel after becoming aware of and appreciating something. It requires us to recognize the positive things in our lives. It can be challenging to see past the pain to anything positive when drowning in hurt. This is when we have to be more intentional.
You can try many different gratitude practices if you want to feel gratitude. ‘Savoring’ is an easy technique with immediate results. It’s the art of being mindfully engaged during an everyday task. For example, each morning, I make a matcha latte. When I practice savoring, I use all of my senses during each step:
Appreciate the brilliant green color of the tea.
Feel the sensation as the bamboo spoon sifts the powder through the metal strainer.
Hear the whisk against the clay cup as the matcha dissolves into the water.
Smell and taste the earthiness through the bubbly froth as I take my first sips.
I’m more grateful for my matcha when I’ve savored the process than when I do the same steps while also thinking about the day’s to-do list.
So what everyday task will you savor today?
CONNECTION
Especially during difficult times, lean into the Connections that make you feel peaceful and calm. Take a break from the Connections that don’t.
Apply it
Some people, activities, or social media posts can trigger negative emotions. Pay attention to how you feel after interactions. Look for subtle feelings of envy and lower self-worth. Then make a shift. Lessen the Connections that leave you drained. This may look like declining a lunch invite with a friend who constantly talks about her successes, hiding someone’s feed on social media, or pausing the use of social media altogether. On the flip side, seek out the Connections that leave you energized.
KINDNESS
Kindness to others has a magical way of pushing our own worries farther away.
Apply it
It may seem a bit counter intuitive, but studies show that when we help others, we have a stronger appreciation for our own lives. Do something to make someone feel seen, supported, or valued and you’ll feel more thankful, even among your challenges.
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