Believe your true value
Ready to ditch the negative self-talk? We all have overactive minds that, quite frankly, have an opinion about everything and won’t shut up. The trick is to tame the brain and reduce the chatter by outsmarting yourself. Words of affirmation, or affirmations, are statements that offer you emotional support or encouragement and are a great place to begin building Respect for yourself. (For a deeper dive on self-love and Respect, check out this article.) Words of affirmation help you realize, remember and know at your core that your value as a person is unconditional. This is an initial part of achieving your best life. Suppose you say an affirmation statement out loud a few times a day. In time, you will realize that the statement is true regardless of the current circumstances.
Override your negative narrative
Take the affirmation, “I don’t need to be perfect, I need to be perfectly me,” for example. If you often feel low self-worth when your daily performance is anything less than perfect, these words of affirmation will help you know that your worth is not connected to the outcome of your actions. The idea is to get ahead of the negative narrative that you tell yourself when life just happens. If you make a mistake at work, miss someone’s birthday, or get into a fender bender, your automatic response to yourself may be negative. These situations are part of being human and have nothing to do with your intelligence or abilities as a competent person. The voice in your head, or even out loud, may sound something like, “How could I be so stupid!” or “I’m such an idiot!”
Drench yourself with positive affirmations to see unproductive and harmful thoughts melt away. And when you use words of affirmation at the time of a blunder, you are immediately put into a healthier frame of mind. Your mind is then in a more grounded, solution-oriented place to make decisions, which is essential if you’ve just made a mistake.
When I first started to use the four principles (Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness) to ROCK thru life, it took me a while to say these types of statements, let alone believe them. So, as you begin, even if you don’t think any of these to be true today, choose one or make your own that embodies what you want to believe about your self-worth in the future. First, pick an affirmation that fuels the life you want to have. A sure sign that an affirmation can help you reframe a negative narrative is one that you read and don’t believe to be true for yourself. For example, someone who is knee-deep in the trap of perfectionism would have a difficult time believing, “I don’t need to be perfect, I need to be perfectly me.” (I know, I’ve been there.)
Use words of affirmations in 7 steps
If using words of affirmation feels silly or soft, I, too, was a skeptic. But there is science behind the habit and benefit of affirmations. In short, even though it might not feel comfortable at first, you may want to give it a try. To begin, you can follow the following seven steps.
- Download the affirmation list using the button above
- Find an affirmation statement that feels difficult to believe for yourself, but one that deep inside you know you need and want to think about yourself.
- Make this Connection with yourself a priority. Set up a way to be reminded several times a day of your chosen words of affirmation. Here is an example:
Morning: Written on a sticky note in my bathroom drawer next to the toothpaste. Take a moment to recite the words of affirmation before brushing your teeth. Then, think about the statement as you brush your teeth.
Afternoon: As a calendar reminder on your phone when you are typically not busy during the day. Perhaps at lunchtime or in the parent pick-up line at school.
Evening: Revisit the note in the bathroom drawer or on the mirror as you get ready for bed.
- Start slow. If you can’t say the words out loud, begin by expressing them in your head. Then, gradually move towards saying the words out loud. It might be a whisper at first until you can hold your head up high and say the words of affirmation with confidence.
- Put your hands over your heart as you say your affirmation statements. This simple action can make the words of affirmation more meaningful and connect with your mind and body more.
- Feel any emotions that may arise, take note of them, and work through them.
- Consider connecting with a therapist or counselor if emotions become overwhelming. This may be a sign that there are things to unpack and sort out as you work towards your best life. Here’s a great article that gives 9 Tips for Finding the Right Therapist.
Words of affirmation can be a great tool to override untrue, negative thoughts that our brain often serves up to us. I’m reminded of a great quote that always helps me check in with the truths of the situation, “Don’t believe everything you think.” (To learn about working through truths, read more on the Ownership principle.) Affirmations can be an essential part of owning and creating a supportive and positive narrative in your own head.
