I am fortunate to live in the beautiful mountain town of Flagstaff, Arizona surrounded by hundreds of acres of State and National Forests adorning our big, beautiful, butterscotch-smelling Ponderosa pines. Here, everyone, including me, seems to have at least one dog, a passion for being outside and loves living here.
There are literally hundreds of local places to explore for fantastic hiking, mountain biking, and views. Late one summer several neighborhood families were getting together for a camping trip at the “End of the World,” a place that I hadn’t ventured to before. We packed up and trekked out. The terrain was extremely rough for much of the 20+ mile dirt road as we slowly meandered deep into this unknown part of the forest. With every jerk and jolt, I wondered if the ride was worth it, especially near the end when I really had to pee; each bump and bounce was a challenge for the mom-of-two bladder. Once the caravan of SUVs stopped at what looked to be like most every other campsite, parents started busily setting up as kiddos went exploring.
Consciously arriving
Later, following the sound of laughter to find the kids as the sun was setting, I stood in awe as if I had hit a brick wall. Suddenly I was standing at the edge of a cliff overlooking a startlingly breathtaking expanse of trees, rock formations and the landscape of Sedona, Arizona. The view was spectacular and unexpected. It was here all along, I just needed to unbusy myself long enough to discover it. I had finally mentally “arrived,” even though I have physically been there for hours.
That night around the campfire with family and friends the awe and gratitude lingered. Alongside was also a twinge of uneasiness and regret that for hours, I had missed the beauty of what was right in front of me. I knew that I wanted, needed, to be more present in more of my life. This was one of the many little moments that would pile up and lead me to discover life more deeply, more consciously.
The Respect journey
A few years later, life lemons forced me to unbusy and take a good, hard look at myself. Before my “big bucket of lemons journey” I thought I respected myself…after all, I didn’t feel like I disrespected myself. But what I came to discover was that I actually didn’t know myself deeply enough to actually gain self-respect that had enough grit to be worth much. It was through the hard, uncomfortable work of self-awareness and self-kindness that I emerged with something even greater, with self-respect.
Just like the amazing view at the End of the World, it was spectacular and unexpected, although a bit treacherous to get there. I also needed to be thoughtful and aware to see the beauty. And if that wasn’t enough, the gift of Respect that I gained for myself overflowed into Respect for others. The adage “You can’t give what you don’t have” was coming alive for me as I was only able to give conscious Respect to others after I first gave Respect to myself.
The complexity of Respect
I have realized that Respect, the first ROCK principle, is the most complex of the four (Respect, Ownership, Connection, and Kindness). It is multifaceted with underpinnings of values, requiring a strong sense of self-awareness. I came to a place of understanding that Respect is admirable regard earned by a positive connection to character, contribution, or being. To allocate genuine Respect active uncovering of character, contribution and being is required.
I’ll go deeper into why this is a necessary part of the process in future posts. For now, I’ll leave you with this; today, I relish in the strength and contentment that I have when conscious Respect is at the forefront of my daily awareness, attitudes, and actions. The view of myself and others is spectacular from where I stand now, and I’m thankful that I have arrived at this beautiful place.
Above, I’ve shared how I define Respect in my life. I look forward to reading in the comments how you define Respect. As I learn from others I hope that my understanding will have even more depth, so thanks in advance for your input.
Until next time…keep ROCKing thru! XO ~ Lee
Special thanks to Jesse Weber for sharing his amazing photos. You can be inspired for your own adventure to the End of the World at his blog post. And to get to know more about Jesse, head to his site.
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